Thanks to my share-all approach to social networking, it's no secret that I eat pretty darn healthy. It's also been made known that I breast feed and have an extremely limited diet because of it. My problem is that I absolutely love food. I actually enjoy having to plan out each meal, because thinking of strange but healthy concoctions to make is just fun. Unfortunately, most of the items on my "allowed to eat" list don't leave me very full, and I struggle trying to fill the void appropriately.
Because I have been racking up my running mileage, I've started keeping track of the calories I burn while exercising, and also the calories I eat throughout the day. This is because if I don't eat up to 500 extra calories a day, my milk supply would not only be lacking in nutrition, but also has the possibility of drying up. And as excited as I am about this half marathon I'm training for, nursing my baby is my number one priority right now, and so, every calorie I burn, I have to eat back - and then some.
What I hate is how much research I've done. There is a different opinion on everything, and if I could I would go back to just eating when I'm hungry and not worry about the protein-carb-fat contents. One specialist suggests eating more protein at snacks and meals to help keep you fuller longer, and another claims that the body stores extra protein as fat. Nuts have all sorts of mixed opinions; some say you can eat up to 500 calories in nuts per day before it starts to effect your weight because of their "good" fats and the way your body metabolizes and uses them, and others say to never eat more than a serving size because of their high calorie and fat content. WHAT'S A GIRL ON A LIMITED DIET TO DO? Fruits and veggies simply don't always cut it, if I eat too much protein it will allegedly turn to chub, and my serious addiction to almonds make it impossible to stick to the miniscule serving size of 1/4 cup.
Luckily as a runner, carbs are - and need to be - a huge part of my diet. Unfortunately for me, most of the carbs I love (cereal, bread, english muffins, bagels) contain milk or soy ingredients. Whole wheat pasta is still a-go, and I keep trying to find new recipes involving rolled oats, quinoa, and brown rice.
I'm stuck in such a catch-22. I need to eat enough calories to produce adequate nutrition for Hannah, but I'm so wildly limited in what I can eat. If I eat enough proteins and fats to fill me up and help rack up my calorie count, I'm getting about 3x what my body needs. If I somehow manage to fill my calorie void with fruits, veggies and whole grains, I feel starving. Other days I feel just fine but will have 600 calories to eat before bed, and basically force myself to eat when I'm not even hungry. I try to eat the same things every day, both to make sure I'm eating things that won't upset Hannah, but also to help my body adjust to such an extreme diet; but where my activity changes daily, so does my appetite.
But, with that said, and in an attempt to get back to my usual positive outlook - it's all temporary. She'll only nurse for about 5 more months, and this is all a small price to pay for what's best for my baby. 7 down, 5 to go. It's worth the struggle and effort to be able to run - something I love... and use to keep my sanity ;)
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
The "Gotta Do It" Attitude
Attitude is everything - a saying that I've heard countless times from countless sources, but oh how true it is. You truly are in full control of your mind, and it's funny how a change of attitude can completely alter your outlook.
Nearly 3 years ago when I began realizing how unhappy I was with Lyla's father, the thought of leaving plagued my mind with nothing but negative thoughts. "I'll have to move back home" "I'll have to do it all on my own" - these thoughts kept me there longer than I wanted to be. Until one day it just clicked - "I gotta do it" I told myself. From that day forward, that's exactly what I did - moved forward and just did what I had to do. I never sulked in how much more difficult things may have temporarily been, because this was my decision and I simply had to do what I had to do.
Fast forward 3 years when my husband is changing careers, and I'm put back into a similar mindset situation. When Eric began the application process to become a CO, I pretty much put the thought on the back burner, knowing that it took months - even up to a year - for the process to be completed. As paperwork and tests slowly but surely were checked off the list, reality started to come into play. I was totally and utterly negative about the whole thing. Knowing he'd be low on the totem pole, working nights and weekends, and commuting at least 30 minutes each way daily, SUCKED. It was hard to think of having our nightly family dinners and time together after the girls were in bed, come to an end.
An end of the year budget put a temporary freeze on the hiring, and we didn't know how long it would last. But then Eric got the call that he had been accepted into the academy. The excitement in his voice was infectious. I knew right then and there I had to stop thinking of myself, thinking of what would be harder, and simply be a supportive wife, and change my attitude. This change became much easier when we found out his academy would be second shift, allowing time for my exercise in the morning (no more headlamp night runs!), and having Eric home with us for 2 meals instead of 1, even if he would miss dinner. I also focused on the extra time I could have with Lyla after Hannah was in bed - time that was preciously mine and Eric's before, that I could now put to use giving Lyla a little TLC; reading books, chatting in bed, or watching a show. And, for the first time since Hannah has been born, this schedule will buy me back a little "me" time. I can go to bed at 7pm with my kids if I want, and not feel guilty about missing out on time with hubby, I can pick up a book for the first time in months, watch a movie, or simply catch up on stuff around the apartment that I never seem to get to. You don't realize how precious time is until you have kids, and even more so once you have two. It may seem like these are small things to get excited about, but it's enough to fuel a positive mindset to create my own happiness and be there for my husband.
So yes, dinner-bath-bed time are mine to tackle alone, and the endless task of getting Hannah to bed, and back to bed, and back to bed again, are mine as well. But I'm up to the challenge, and that same empowering feeling I had 3 years ago... I just gotta do it.
Nearly 3 years ago when I began realizing how unhappy I was with Lyla's father, the thought of leaving plagued my mind with nothing but negative thoughts. "I'll have to move back home" "I'll have to do it all on my own" - these thoughts kept me there longer than I wanted to be. Until one day it just clicked - "I gotta do it" I told myself. From that day forward, that's exactly what I did - moved forward and just did what I had to do. I never sulked in how much more difficult things may have temporarily been, because this was my decision and I simply had to do what I had to do.
Fast forward 3 years when my husband is changing careers, and I'm put back into a similar mindset situation. When Eric began the application process to become a CO, I pretty much put the thought on the back burner, knowing that it took months - even up to a year - for the process to be completed. As paperwork and tests slowly but surely were checked off the list, reality started to come into play. I was totally and utterly negative about the whole thing. Knowing he'd be low on the totem pole, working nights and weekends, and commuting at least 30 minutes each way daily, SUCKED. It was hard to think of having our nightly family dinners and time together after the girls were in bed, come to an end.
An end of the year budget put a temporary freeze on the hiring, and we didn't know how long it would last. But then Eric got the call that he had been accepted into the academy. The excitement in his voice was infectious. I knew right then and there I had to stop thinking of myself, thinking of what would be harder, and simply be a supportive wife, and change my attitude. This change became much easier when we found out his academy would be second shift, allowing time for my exercise in the morning (no more headlamp night runs!), and having Eric home with us for 2 meals instead of 1, even if he would miss dinner. I also focused on the extra time I could have with Lyla after Hannah was in bed - time that was preciously mine and Eric's before, that I could now put to use giving Lyla a little TLC; reading books, chatting in bed, or watching a show. And, for the first time since Hannah has been born, this schedule will buy me back a little "me" time. I can go to bed at 7pm with my kids if I want, and not feel guilty about missing out on time with hubby, I can pick up a book for the first time in months, watch a movie, or simply catch up on stuff around the apartment that I never seem to get to. You don't realize how precious time is until you have kids, and even more so once you have two. It may seem like these are small things to get excited about, but it's enough to fuel a positive mindset to create my own happiness and be there for my husband.
So yes, dinner-bath-bed time are mine to tackle alone, and the endless task of getting Hannah to bed, and back to bed, and back to bed again, are mine as well. But I'm up to the challenge, and that same empowering feeling I had 3 years ago... I just gotta do it.
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