Even though this baby is still 4 months away from being born, I've had so many people ask me if we plan on having more. If you asked me a couple of months ago, I said no on the impulse of feeling so sick and tired. Now if you ask me, I still say no, but am not sure that's so likely.
When the thought of having more kids comes into play, my immediate thought is how eager I am to work. I graduated from massage therapy school in 2008, and became pregnant with Lyla within weeks. From there, the struggles of pregnancy, a new born, and an unhappy relationship prevented me from doing nearly any massaging. Then, it was leaving Lyla's father, moving in with my mother, falling in love with Eric and planning a wedding that prevented me from doing anything more than part-time. And now? Pregnant again. It's partially my fault, the non working part, that is, because I declared from day one that my children would never be put into a day care. So aside from working part time for the last 2 years (where I brought Lyla with me), I stayed home and devoted all my time and attention to raising my daughter. Now, come May, she will be old enough to begin pre-school which would have given me the chance to work, but again, pregnant. And due one month after she is elligable for school. As happy as I am to be expecting again, it will be another 3 years before I could begin to work part-time as a massage therapist, and another 5 or 6 before a full time position, when both of my children will be in full-day school. So with me being Mrs. Eager when it comes to work, I think I would go crazy to add yet ANOTHER 5 or 6 years onto my already haulted work-time by having a 3rd child. However, I have never really given massage therapy a fighting chance before now, and for all I know doing a few home visits during the week and working at a gym or spa on weekends would be fulfilling enough for me, and still allow time at home to raise my children. Who knows, only time will tell.
Another factor? No birth control for me. I have a tiny heart murmur, and for some reason, birth control makes it go wild causing chest pain, and a numbness in my left arm - weird, right? Doctors couldn't tell me exactly what causes it; all they know is that all symptoms go away when I went off birth control. And because I was on a low-dose no hormone pill to begin with, my doctor wasn't willing to experiment to see what did and didn't give me a heart attack, and therefore, I just don't take it. Eric and I learned the hard way last fall that condoms aren't always reliable, and that the morning after pill doesn't work. So what are we to do? We don't think we want more children, and yet preventing it hasn't worked in the past. Eric always jokes that he doesn't see me "not getting knocked up" in the next 20 years. I suppose this one is in God's hands.
And then there's money. Women who want but don't have children have asked me what you can do to prepapre for a baby, and I always say the same thing: you'll never be prepared enough, you just have to be willing to make all the necessary sacrifices once you do become pregnant and a mother. However, with our 2nd child on the way and future talk of more, finances have definitely come into play. A 3rd child would mean that we, the parents, would be out numbered. It also means another college fund, more difficult outtings, more expensive vacations, etc. I always talk about how less is more; I fear that adding more children to the mix will cause Lyla and (soon to be) Hannah to miss out on certain things in life because we couldn't afford them; art, gym or sports classes, vacations, the school of their dreams, a nice home... However, I'm also the biggest advocate of the phrase "everything happens for a reason" so, if #3 does come along, I'm sure we will make it work and make sure that our children have the best lives possible.
So, more kids you ask? We really just have no idea.
