You Look Foolish

Every chapter that I read in "I do, Now what?" by Giuliana & Bill Rancic has not only been inspiring, but reassuring to my own marriage. One Chapter in particular stuck out yesterday, because it was something I couldn't agree more with, but also something that I see often in relationships, not just marriage: You should never publicly put down or talk poorly about your partner.

The chapter discusses some solid points about what happens when you share negative things about your significant other with friends, family, or the worst, in my opinon - the social networking systems. When you blast your guy or gal for the public to read, not only does it build negative thoughts on this person for your friends and family, but it also makes you look foolish for choosing to be with them. No one wants to see someone they care about get hurt, let down, or be disrespected, so it can be difficult for loved ones to read such posts and sympathize staying in the relationship when you're making it so obvious that you deserve better. Not to mention, most of these social outbursts are posted on impulse, and are likely resolved before your friends and family even have time to react. Then, the next day you're tweeting or posting on their walls about how much you love them. Heart heart, kiss kiss. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a relationship quarrel through the social network, get loads of "back up" from their friends, and then act as if the whole thing never happened with new posts of kissy-face pictures and updates soon after.

In my opinion, it's immature. A phone call to your mother or close friend to help talk through a tough situation is one thing, but putting something so personal on something so public, just says "attention seeking" to me. No couple is perfect, but you'd never see me trashing my husband for the world to see just because we had an argument. Marriage is sacred, for better or worse, and when we took our vows on September 10th, we vowed to work through things together, no matter how big, small, or difficult. I don't need people I talk to once every few months chiming in on my Facebook page to tell their opinions, or that they're on my side. The only person I want to talk to about my marriage is the person I'm married to - it's no one else's business. I think this should apply to those just dating, too. What is working through an argument or problem via the social networking systems really going to solve? Nothing, but making you look foolish, giving your friends and family the wrong impression of the offender, and lots of confused faces when you flip the switch the next day.