Making It Work

Marriage is all about making it work. Anything that is thrown your way, you're in it for better or for worse, and the only thing you can do is work through it - together. Eric's new job has certainly been a true test for us.

With the 10 week training academy complete, I thought we'd be able to settle into a more manageable schedule once Eric was given his work location and schedule. We were thrilled to find out that he was placed in the county closest to our home, which cut his commute by two-thirds. To add to the excitement, I had decided I was ready to pick up a part time job; I was excited to take the first small step towards a long awaited career in health and fitness, and looked forward to getting out each week. As much as I love my girls and full-time job as a SAHM, I feel I need this time for myself, the interaction with other adults, and the extra money would just be a bonus. As Eric entered his first week of work, we were aware that the first few weeks were considered a "training" period, and that his schedule was likely to change. We struggled to adjust, but managed. After all, it would just be a few short weeks of this all-over-the-place shift change.

Psych.

The day after I sent out applications and resumes to every massage, health, and gym atmosphere Google could find me, Eric let me know that for the next 6 months his schedule would be changing weekly - with only one weeks notice beforehand. This went for his days off as well, leaving my ability to work unrealistic.

I was unbelievably bummed, and for the first time in over a year, extremely homesick. Knowing what an amazing support system I have back home - from family and friends who could help with the girls, to more job opportunities - made me feel totally stuck in the situation we're in; two young kids, in-laws who work full time, friends who work full time, a husband with an endlessly changing schedule...

This sucks.

But it's not just about me. It sucks for my husband too. One week he is on 2nd shift - getting in late and woken up early, and the next on 1st, where he barely sees the girls. Planning anything is next to impossible. And on top of it all, it's only been a few weeks and he's already had several late night calls for over-time.

We're both struggling, and need each other more than ever. We can't afford to turn this into a battle about who this is harder on, who is more tired, who works harder...it wouldn't solve anything, it wouldn't change our situation, and it certainly wouldn't help us get through it. Instead, we simply make it work. We acknowledge how we feel, but support the other. He comes home from work and knows I need help with the girls. I know he needs his down time. We both need our time to exercise. And so, we are supportive - it's a simple as that.

We make it work because we have to, but more importantly, because we want to. And it's the little things that make a huge difference; he spends time with the girls while I exercise and I'll prepare his lunch for the following day while he relaxes. Marriage is give and take; we find time for our own needs and respect those of the other. It may be a hectic time in our lives, but I have to remember that it is temporary. Soon enough, our schedule will settle down, I will be able to work, and we can finally have a reliable routine. Until then, I have no choice but to keep my head up and make the best of what we have.

Not to mention, if we survived a month of Lauren-couldn't-run-off-her-stress, everything else should be cake ;)