Divorce

As a happily married woman, it may come as a surprise that I am not necessarily against divorce. My husband and I are surrounded by it within our families, and if anything, it drives us to communicate and grow together even more - however, it has also shown me just what can lead to the demise of a relationship, and has taught me that I may not be a believer of "together forever no matter what".

Lets go back to dating. Different relationships reveal concrete things that you like, love, and hate. We use these things to move from person to person in hopes to find more of the likes and loves, and less of the hate. Once this happens, congratulations! It's your cliché moment of finding "the one". I believe there are lots of different elements that makes this the right person for you; how you are treated, the support you receive, the love they show, common interests, loyalty - to name a few generics.

In the successful marriage, the couple changes and grows together, not apart. But what happens when one or two of the major elements, the ones that sparked your love for this person in the first place, changes for the worse? Or what happens if one spouse's maturity alters appropriately with life's changes, such as the addition of children, and the other does not? And then there are the more serious scenarios, such as becoming unfaithful or abusive. What then?

Of course, the idea of marriage is to work through anything and everything - together. But the one thing in life you get to be selfish about your own happiness. If one person in the marriage has given up, stopped supporting, treated you poorly, and headed in a totally different direction (never mind raising a hand to their spouse) - I can't say I sit here and agree that the willing spouse should stay in that marriage, totally miserable, just because "it's for better or worse". You can only be the best person you can be - for your husband, your kids, and most importantly, yourself - if you are happy. As much as I'd hate (and have hated) to see a marriage fall apart, I've also seen the happiness and growth that can consequently follow a divorce as well.

Fight your ass off for your love and marriage, but when all options have been exhausted, wave your white flag. Get happy.

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This has been written in thanks for those who have had the strength to fight, but even more strength to move on and bring peace and happiness to their families and own lives. And also for anyone struggling <3

Eric and I are in the very beginning of our forever-journey together, and I can only hope that's exactly what it turns out to be. I am thankful for our daily happiness, and for the communication and growth we share together. I am also thankful for past relationships to have guided me to know exactly what I deserved, and for mistakes we have witnessed and hope to learn from. Divorce is a scary word when you are happily married, but it does exist. Our gloves are up.