My toddler just fascinates me. Everyday she can do something new, say something new. She's now at an age where she can tell me what she wants for lunch, where she wants to go today, and who'd she'd like to see. For the very first time on her own the other day, she walks up to me and says "I yuv-you mummy", and I turned into a pool on the living room couch. I even miss her when she goes to bed for the night. And now that she wakes up once or twice instead of every hour during the night, I sometimes even enjoy the "mummmmyyy" cry coming from the monitor at 3am, because it had been hours since I'd seen her last, and I know that means I get to go in and hold her for a minute before putting her back down till morning.
Her endless growth really hit me last week while in Maine. She was running barefoot on the beach, and squealing when the cold Maine ocean hit her "piggies". We spent hours on that beach, walking in the water hand-in-hand, picking up sea shells and finding crabs when I stopped and thought: "this is the very moment I had invisioned when I was pregnant". And realizing that 23 months later it had become reailty was one of the greatest feelings I have experienced thus far. It made me reflect on her first few months of life, wishing for the day when the rattle of a toy would distract her enough to make her stop crying, even for a minute. To go from then to now, and watch her run free on that beach, twirling in the ocean breeze with her arms out like an airplane, left me speechless. I just stood there and watched her enjoy life, and felt lucky to have given it to her.
Ever since she was born, I feel like all people have ever told me was "enjoy it, it goes by too fast", and now that she is almost true, I am finding out what a reaility that statement really is. Didn't I just take that pregnancy test? Didn't I just give birth to her? Where the time has gone, I have no idea. Just a couple months ago, she would say "I love you" by saying "I do" and say "Eric" by saying "Ekka". Now that she can not only say these things correctly, but use them in sentences, just flores me. And only in a matter of months!
I often think about the unlimited power you have as a parent. She only knows what I teach her, and naturally, you want to teach your children all the right things. But what if I told her that blue was yellow? Or that dessert comes before dinner? Or that endless time infront of the TV is good and that smoking is a plus? Of course, I would never do these things, but it makes you feel so powerful, not only to have the ABILITY to do such things, but even more so to be teaching her the RIGHT things.
As I write this, I am running back and forth to her room to wind, and re-wind this Pooh Bear snow globe which she loves to fall asleep to at nap time. It's a reminder of 1) why I stay so thin and 2) how parenting is anything but easy. Just when you think she's asleep and that I'd have a minute to finish a blog, take a shower, or get to those dreaded dishes, my little peanut whines "more p-p-poooooh-bayerrrr" over the monitor. It feels like by the time she's finally asleep, and the dishes and laundry are all done, you may FINALLY get a minute to yourself to pick up a book or watch a recorded tv episode, until "mummmyyyy" comes across the monitor, yet again. It's exhausting, but once I open that door and get my post-nap greeting of "Hi mummy! I had good dreams! We eat lunch? Maca-rooooni?"...time to myself? what is that? I simply forget, and move on with the rest of my day doing what I love; being a Mother.
No comments:
Post a Comment