Chapter 3

I couldn't believe the feeling that spending time with Eric gave me. I couldn't help but question if my original fear was speaking true; did he just seem perfect compared to Ben? Only time would tell, and all I could do was be cautious and know that this was possible.
But months went by, little drinking was involved, and my feelings for this man were continuously growing. Again, the polar opposite of my experience with Ben. But oh, the way Eric made me laugh. The way he held my hand when we're driving. And especially, the way he treated Lyla. As time went on, I stopped comparing him to Ben, and just enjoyed who he was; someone who cared about me very much, and did a wonderful job showing it.
I began to feel so corny when I was around him, or even thinking of him. I would do this lame little dance anytime my phone showed a text from him. I would smile when I could relate to those lovey-dovey lyrics in songs. I could feel it in my toes when we kissed. All the cliche, totally lame, totally corny feelings you see in movies and hear about it songs, I was experiencing. And there was no better feeling. Until one thing from my experience with Ben repeated itself; I got pregnant.
Now was the time for answers: This time, are the feelings real? This time, do I want to actually be with this man? This time, was it meant to be?
The only thing that settled my mind about this unplanned pregnancy, was that the answer THIS TIME to all of these questions, was yes. This was a pregnancy caused from a broken condom, and the morning after pill. And although I was panicked about not only having children 23 months apart, but having to tell people yet again that I was pregnant in a new relationship, I was at least at peace knowing that I loved the man I was having this baby with. We then had to really evaluate our feelings for each other, and the plans for our future. We talked about getting married, but were not looking to rush into anything just because we were having a baby. We tentatively talked about April of 2012.
We chose to tell our parents, siblings, and few close friends right away, and wait to tell anyone else until we needed to. Good thing, because 5 weeks into the pregnancy, we lost the baby. The morning after pill caused me to have an ectopic pregnancy, where the fertilized egg gets stuck in the fallopian tube. It ruptured, caused my abdomen to fill with blood, and I had to have emergency surgery to remove both my ruptured fallopian tube, and what would have been our baby.
Although unplanned, the loss of our unborn baby was devistating to us both. Eric was wonderful in comforting me during this both physical and emotionally painful time, and I did my best to comfort him as well. As my stitches dissolved and belly deflated, we continued to talk about the plans for our future. We were serious about wanting to get married; this was made even more clear after we lost the baby, because at that point, there was no pressure to stay together...just our own love and free will. Let me tell you, that old saying of "when you know, you know", is definitely a real thing. I had never been so sure of anything in my life. So, when Eric went to my dad's to ask his permission and receive the ring my grandmother had left for me, and when he slipped that same ring on the 4th finger of my left hand, I said yes, and meant it with all my heart.