Eric and I are almost at the 2 month count down to our wedding, and I cannot wait. Many people have asked me, "why get married?" seeing how I am only 22 and the first of my friends to take the leap, and all I can ever answer with are three simple words; "I feel ready".
Getting pregnant at 19 and being a mother by 20 was a door-slam on the party life style and a giant HELLO to maturity, responsibility, and adulthood. I was ready to say goodbye to the nights spent over a toilet bowl, and hello to a different type of all nighter. I suppose it was the same feeling of readiness for marriage.
Although I do feel that having a baby young prepared me to be wed earlier than the average person, it's certainly not the reason I am marrying. Eric was my 5th relationship lasting over one year. And after being in that many relationships I felt confident in knowing what I needed out of my next relationship and also, what I was able to give. One of the first things I told Eric was that I was a mother first and foremost, and that this may have prevented me from giving as much as I would like, or as much as he was used to receiving in the past. Luckily, I was able to find a healthy balance between Mommy and girlfriend. The more time Eric and I spent together, the more we learned what we were able to bring to the relationship and what we were able to take from it; the mixture was perfect.
People tend to roll their eyes when I tell them that the glue that binds us together is our honesty with each other. The general response is usually "...as far as you know". And I guess it's true to some extent that you can never be 100% sure your significant other is being truly honest with you all the time, but that's where the trust comes in. It's true that honesty and trust go hand-in-hand. I was open and honest with Eric about my past, all closet-hidden skeletons and all, from the very beginning. And so was he. And now, yearly one year later, I can proudly say I have never once lied to him, and that i believe with all my heart that he has never lied to me. It is the most rewarding feeling (other than being a mommy) to wake up and go to bed next to him each day, and feel totally free.
Of course we're not perfect; we argue and disagree like any normal couple, but it's how we deal with things that makes me think we can beat the 50% divorce rate statistic. I always feel crazy when I say this, but I almost enjoy our arguments. Not the arguing per say, but the closeness I feel to Eric once we have worked through something together. With every argument comes opportunity; it allows us to see how the other deals with certain situations, and to respond appropriately. It allows us to be vulnerable when realizing you were proven wrong, and mature for being able to admit that wrong. It allows us to kiss and make up, and bring us even closer than we were before.
Eric is indeed my support, but I also feel like I gain strength from our relationship. I think we have the key ingredients to a solid marriage: we are always wanting to better not only ourselves, but each other. We are bringing each other up in life, share the same aspirations, and just have this unconditional love and acceptance of each other.
I always ask him, "people who end up divorced must have felt the same way we do when they decided to get married. What changed? How do we know that won't happen to us?"...it's a scary thought. The one answer we always have is simply to never give up. We feel that in a divorced couple, one person may have wanted to fight for their marriage, while the other simply no longer had the desire to put up their gloves. Eric and I are constantly talking about never giving up. Marriage is forever, for better or for worse. No matter what comes our way, we leave ourselves no choice but to work through it, together, no matter how hard it may be. And all of this, wrapped into 3 little words, is why I'm getting married: I feel ready.
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